hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
