come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
