Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
