I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
