Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
