Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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