i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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