i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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