the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
The adults are the big ones right?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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