You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
