I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
