and i looked up. we had an audience...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
