thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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