This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
