Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
