i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
