sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You took a bar mat shot.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
