ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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