If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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