After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
