Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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