Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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