just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
