I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
