everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
