She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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