Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
