and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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