Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
