Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
