Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
