he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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