Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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