And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize