he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
