Heybabeimwearingurpanties
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
