is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
