we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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