everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
