Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
