office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
