She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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