that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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