I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
