Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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