hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
too bad you live with your parents still
I showed him my bush... on skype.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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