its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
