Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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