google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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