Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
