Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
