Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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