I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
