Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize