I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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