Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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