Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
