Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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