Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
