:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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