yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
