so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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