god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
