it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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